Monday, February 8, 2016

Buñuelos(Easy Mexican Treat)

These are one of my all time favorites. I DON'T eat them often in real life, but I do in my dreams. And when I do eat them in real life, I always end up reminiscing about spending holidays at my abuelita's house in the good and great El Paso, Texas!!! Specifically, a New Year's Eve we spent there while I was still pretty little. My abuelita had made a TON of dough, and had us all rolling it out into HUGE circles. I kid you not, these things were wider than a full twelve inches. We would roll and stretch them out as thin as we could and hang them anywhere there was room. Over the chairs and across the table and her bed. She would fry the heck out of these babies and drench them in cinnamon and sugar. DONE. That's how easy they are. They taste amazing. Thin, crunchy, oily and buttery and cinnamon-y and sugar-y. I ate them for like every meal that trip. And anyone who knows me knows I'm seriously not kidding about that. But, when you only cook them once a year, who really cares? NOT ME. And, tonight I made them with my family. AWESOME. I love eating good stuff with them. Today was mexican monday for food (yes, I make up things like Waffle Wednesday, Fish Friday or Fancy Friday or Pasta Tuesday (because they both have T's.... to help me think of things to cook)) so I did chicken enchiladas with lettuce and tomato and sour cream(plain yogurt) and then buñuelos for dessert. And, the best thing about this recipe is that it's SO SO easy and almost tastes just as good as if you were to make the dough yourself. There's no way I could ever say anything I make mounts up to how my grandma does it, because she's just that good. But, I can say that out of 100(her's being 100) this comes to like a 98. FOR REAL. Check it out. And more importantly, MAKE THEM.

Frying oil-vegetable or coconut ( I like the coconut because then it adds a coconut flavor...)
Uncooked Flour Tortillas

Combine the sugar with the amount of cinnamon that you would like. Set to the side in a bowl.

Put 2-3 Tbs(or you could put more if you really want to fry it a lot) of the oil into a pan set at medium heat. Let it heat up. Test it by putting in an edge of the tortilla. If it sizzles it is ready. Put in the tortilla and let it cook and brown on one side, then flip it and do the same on the other side. Take it off and set it on a plate. Put some butter on it while it is still hot and then dust however much cinnamon and sugar you want all over it. Then flip, and do the same with the butter and sugar on that side. Then, it's done! That's all. Super easy, super good.

Side note: You don't have to put the butter. Only if you like living on the edge---chances of experiencing a heart attack being on the edge. But, boy does the butter taste good :) I'd say, if you are going to eat one. DO THE BUTTER. If you are going to eat two, don't. Ha ha! Hope you like it.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Pure Heart by Tirsa Stewart

Pure Heart

6:30. Too early and he's awake.
Cooing and gooing in my bed,
smacking the covers and my head.
He leans his face on mine to entreat me.
I kiss his cheek with tender affection.
Dropping an inch his head meets the crest of the lips still sweeping that perfect skin.
His pleasure must be greater than mine; his eyes close.
I follow up and kiss his closed eye,
his tiny brow,
his precious head.
Pleasure and peace have overcome him.
Deep breathing. He is asleep.
I arrange him.
He is asleep.
I arrange me.
He is asleep.
I hear him and feel him and...
I cannot sleep.
Wondering at the thought that some kisses brought him such joy
And he received it so fully.
A pure heart is simple, and thought breaks not it's intelligence.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Minimalism To The Core (Religious) Are you a Minimalist?

Minimalism. I love the idea of it. In my mind it is fresh, clean cut, beautiful and simple, like clean white folded towels. But, when you think about it, it is so much more than that. It is hard, it is uncomfortable, it is sad, it is tears, it is yearning, it is at a certain point lacking. Only once you get past all of those things does it become fresh, clean cut, beautiful and simple.

I have had it on my mind a lot over the past few years, but more specifically over the past few months. My Man loves it and it echoes through him to his core. He lives for it. And, he is truly good at it. Right now, there is this minimalist movement kind of going on. Living with less stuff, tiny homes, quality products, etc. People are sick of junk and space and blah. I share the same feelings and always have. But, what is minimalism truly? My Man watched some video about a man saying we need to change the way we think. Pessimism is easy, and it is the first route our mind will always take. Through practice, we need to re-train our thought process tracks. Instead of having our brain train consistently stopping at every con it can, have it glide on through all of those and find the one stop that will breed positive thoughts and then actions. We need to let go. And that is what minimalism is, being able to let go.

We have moved a lot, and started quite a few businesses that didn't even really start and had a few jobs, etc. and so on. We have had LIFE. It's nothing out of the normal. We have had to budget the heck out of each paycheck. And, we have done good. We are debt free, have multiple savings accounts and we have assets. So even through the security of our semi- insecure entrepreneurial life-style, I feel insecure. Not in My Man's ability to provide, but in my ability to let go.

Back to the night My Man was talking to me about that video. He was reflecting on how we need to really act on that. We need to change how we think---especially when it come to loss.

We cannot count on ANYONE or ANYTHING in this life. EVERY SINGLE THING WE HAVE CAN BE TAKEN AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. You think you can count on income? You can't. You think you can count on a home? You can't. You think you can count on friends? Well, you can't. Family? You can't. Food? You can't. Transportation? You can't. People all around us lose these things every single day, and they suffer immensely. So, of course, I find myself having an extremely hard time enjoying life and even wanting anything. I don't want to love, because I don't want that love to get taken away or leave. Heck, I don't even want to buy a beautiful picture to hang on my home's wall so that I can never experience the sadness in losing it if it were to break or get lost. BIG TIME PROBLEMS WITH MY PESSIMISM and anxiety. How can you enjoy a life that you don't live? So what does this all come down to? God. Because it always does.

God is my only constant, and whether anyone admits it or not, He is everyone's only constant. Because if you don't have Him, what do you have? My worst fear is losing my children, losing my husband, losing my family. It is a dreaded fear I have to encounter every day in my pessimistic mind. But, they aren't mine to lose. I would have to be okay if my child were to get lost, abducted, died. Same if my husband were. You can say, "yeah, but those chances are so small of that ever hapening." Because you know what? They are. Maybe it won't happen, and maybe in that small chance it will happen (because it happens to so many people). But, that is not the point. The point is to choose to confront it. YES. Think about it. What if it did happen? The whole point is acknowledging God, and that no matter what happens, you will be okay, with Him on your side. Anyone could take most of anything that they want from you at any moment in time. How would you live if the most important thing you chose to love was lost? In hate? Sadness? Misery? God gave us life to learn a multitude of things. How to love, how to obey, how to work, how to enjoy, how to endure, how to pursue. I want all of that. So I choose God. I choose to have Him with me every day ever single second. Because He is the only thing I can love so hard, and not have any person in the WORLD take that away from me. And the best part is that He will always love me back.

So minimalism, at it's core, is nothing except God. How minimalist are you? Where is God in your life?

That's not a rhetorical question. Comment and tell me your thoughts. And, hopefully this post was at least semi-fluid! Ha!

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Twelve Classical Songs to Relieve Anxiety/Calm the Kids

Sometimes everything can be so loud in a house with kids. The kids playing, crying, yelling, the shows, the up-beat music you put on to try to bring a little energy into a dull day. Sometimes, it's even the silence that seems so loud. Some days it's the silence that feeds the loud thoughts in your mind so much so that you feel incapable of doing much, just because of anxiety. At least that is how it seems to me. On those  days, I like classical music. And my girls say they don't like it, but their body language shows they do. So, here is a top ten of the classical songs I love most to listen to on those days. A lot of them I love just because my grandma plays them and they remind me of her. Instant stress release. If you think you don't like classical, put these on and they will change your mind. Enjoy!

1. Claude Debussy-Arabesque for Piano No.1
2.Claude Debussy-Clair de Lune 
3. Fryderyk Chopin-Mazurkas
4.Fryderyk Chopin-Nocturnes Piano Op.9 n.2
5. Fryderyl Chopin-Spring Waltz
6.Daniel Ketchum- Kids Remix(Say whattttttt.I know.)
7. Isaac Albeniz-Suite Espanola No.1 For Piano
8. Emile Pandolfi-Adagio
9. Ellens Gesang III-Ave Maria For Piano
10.Dustin O'Halloran- Opus 37
11. Beethoven- Moonlight Sonata
12. Tchaikovsky- Swan Lake for Piano

Saturday, January 23, 2016


It is more painful than death,
the death of someone that still breathes the mountains’ breath.
Why can’t we stay as roots of the Aspens do---interlocking
not just the will to survive, but the will to thrive
through the sun-beating summer,
the always fatal fall, isolating winter, succulent spring?

Let us stand as one.
Let us not demand dominion one over the other.
Or else, let the sun’s blades sweep, slice, dice---
fillet our intertwined roots,
slow bake them to
feed the new baby Aspens.

Thursday, January 21, 2016


Recently looking through my poetry from college, I've realized how much I dislike the "worked" "edited" and "polished" versions of my originals. I like how raw they are in the beginning, and for me and my writing style, I feel that normally the first writing best describes my feelings. If I can better the poem without altering the feelings conveyed, great. If not, best leave it as originally written. Until I become a pro at workshopping it, writing it, re-writing it, re-writing it, and then liking what I have produced, I'll stick with the ones I like. The originals. This was written when Aida, my first girl, was just a few months old. Aida is a type of canna lily. I was feeling secluded from the life and freedoms I had previously had, but no feeling can beat out the love for your kiddo :)


Nothing has changed,
Same lack of desire, thrill---
I am a light-bulb flickering out.
Nightly cries are alarms
repeatedly beep
b e e p i n g,
reminding me of
what is gone, telling me 
something's missing.
I get a knot in my chest.

Night leaves every day
and the thick, warm sunshine reminds me
that time will bring growing,

She smells like nature after
having endured a beating rainstorm---
And just breathing her in
relieves this knot in my chest.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

A Mother's Confession: My Addiction

I have been putting off this post for a long time. Looking at my last entry, it seems I've been putting it off for over a year. And, with good reason. It is never an easy thing to come out and say, "I have a problem. I have an addiction." But, here I am tonight, with the girls tucked away in their twinsy jammies, writing it. I am finally writing it. I am addicted. TO BEDTIME.
I know.How horrible of a mom can i be? Becoming addicted to the high that comes everytime those cute little eyelids shut for the night (and hopefully stay shut).I'll tell you something though, YOU ARE
After an entire day of laughing loving getting angry feeling hungry making (hopefully)three meals timeouts time-in cuddles crying diaper changing bum wiping nose blowing hair doing laundry doing dish doing bath giving bath giving again story reading putting on the seat belt taking off the seat belt putting on the seat belt taking off the seat belt (x3) working out going on a walk and feeling absolutely mentally emotionally and physically tired.don't even dare say I'm alone in this addiction. It's like,all day long you just wanted to lie down, and once those eyelids shut BOOM BABY!I AM ALIVE AGAIN!hit me with that adrenaline.hit me with some good food some dancing some music some real good productivity some dreaming some living some loving some hoping some exercise some reading some Netflixing some OPTIONS.options that were not there at all during the day. Once those cute eyelids shut, hit me with all those good ideas, and let me feel that high, and then in twenty minutes please just let me SLEEP, only to wake and crave it ALL all over again. That sweet twenty minute high.