My struggle and the Stand Up and Shine Challenge #1

So, I have been struggling people. Physically mentally and mostly just those two, ha. I think back to last year before October hit, and I was FLYING HIGH. Dahlia was old enough that she was gaining some independence. Aida was now in Kindergarten, Cypress was also gaining more independence and was doing better health-wise.I was getting my body back! I was feeling better health-wise. I felt like my mind and creativity was coming back to me. I felt like my old self was coming back to me, new and improved. And I also knew, I wanted one more kid. Karey and I both. And that was so intimidating to me because everything was flowing if you know what I mean. The kind of flow that just makes you straight up content every day (almost). The kind of content where you sit back and are like, "My family is the bomb. I'm the bomb. Life is the bomb." And then the truth bomb hits. This family isn't complete, no matter how bad I wanted it to be because of its flow and the feelings of being done I had, and how I just wanted it to stay easy, and get easier and easier. But, when I thought of my family in the future, with teenagers, I still wanted more.

When Karey and I were engaged, we said we wanted six kids. After our first-born, that dropped to five. After our second, we said 3-4. Once our third was born, it was like, "Hey, this is nice. We could be done!.....?" Having a family is not this big smiling picture frame that just stays happy and energetic and fun all the time. It is work ALL THE TIME. Work that is not about you, unless you're looking for some imperfections to perfect. And for someone who considers herself a realist (which others consider a pessimist), it sure is exhausting to be expecting reality all the time, which usually isn't what you want or what you planned it to be. But, what having a family IS, is worth it. It fills in all the cracks of life. It creates cracks too, but they are MINOR compared to life without family. Family is life. You can't even be born without a family. Whether they or you are a part of eachothers' life, every single living human has a family tree. Families create society. They create communities. They create CULTURES. They create citizens, nations. Together, we all make up the world. How can something so large and so vital, be thought to be so easy? The funny thing is there are some people that think it will just be fun and easy (like I did). And, there are the ones who recognize it for what it is. A life that no longer is about you. Instead, it is about everyone around you. But what they don't see is everything it fills in an empty soul. Loving people to the extent that you would give yourself up is something too intense to explain.And too beautiful to explain. It creates humility, compassion, empathy, forgiveness, understanding and SO many more characteristics that, quite frankly, I think are dying out of society. Yes, they are there in small things and in small ways, but what about in deep ways? In the ways that matter when everything is stripped away from you and you really have to see yourself for who you are and who you have let yourself become deep inside? Scary stuff, that is. BUT, back to the point. Families are worth the exhaustion. Back before the boom in technology and  mass production, family was  the pride of people's lives. That has faded now. But it doesn't change the families undying necessity in the plot of  our lives and the building of societies. So, when I thought about how at the moment, I really was too anxious to want another kid, but how in the future, I wanted one more. I knew I just had to jump in, or stay content with my decision of three kids. I didn't want to do the latter (see note*) So, beginning of October is when the flow turned into a brick wall and the content feeling was straight up gone. I had never had morning sickness as bad as this time around, and I could barely function throughout the day. I told myself I just needed to make it to middle of November, because usually I start to feel good around twelve weeks. Well that passed and I still wasn't back to functioning status. My husband was overworked from doing EVERYTHING including his work while I laid on the couch wondering if I was actually maybe just dying. Thanksgiving passed, which we skipped because everyone was sick, I had thrown up and peed my pants, and felt horrible and not very thankful (WHAT?!selfish. I know.)Christmas came and passed and I was just glad that I made it through it. The house was a mess and it was probably the least Christmas-y Christmas my kids will have experienced in their lives, so good thing they're too young to remember anyways.Then the first week of January came. The NEW YEAR, bringing with it promises of sunshine and happiness and hopefully feeling better. And I did start to feel better for a week, until the whole family got hit with the flu. Fast forward two weeks later and we're all just barely recouping AND we finally have our ultrasound! Well, a day before the ultra-sound right when I was seeing the light after one of the most horrible flues ever, I got a horrible horrible sinus infection (and could only take acetametaphin! That's like taking water pills!!). At that ultra-sound, we found out we were having twins. Woooooooo. That's about as far as my excitement went at the time. I was so exhausted from being exhausted all fall, and then so exhausted and emotionally shot from sick kids and sick me and sick husband for the last two weeks, and exhausted from the left side of my face and head throbbing unceasingly, I honestly couldn't even REGISTER twins. If I pictured myself watching myself in a out-of-body type of experience I could kind of disconnect enough to be like "What?!Twins?!" and that was all. Fast forward to now, and everyone has been healthy for a total of like 5 days now. I'm still exhausted but maybe seeing the light at the end of this horrible flu season that I would kill if I could! And we've got about two months before these two little angels come and join us. And  now that I've gotten a bit more sleep and am emotionally a bit more stable I can feel excited! Or at least I can see the time coming where I feel really excited. But I definitely have a lot of energy work to do on myself mentally and emotionally before these two sweet babes come. What I can say is I in no way regret choosing to have one more and getting two! It makes me emotional thinking about how in the end I will get what I always wanted, a big family! And I will have put in the work for it. And that makes me feel good about myself. Does that mean I'll be the best kindest awesomest mom ever? No. But I don't care, I'm just going to do my best. And one thing you learn quickly is, yes, you teach your kids, but they are already a grown soul inside of that small body. They know who they are, and who they'll be come, all you can do is teach them right from wrong and give them someone who loves them the entire way through life! And that is beautiful.

So, to help me have more energy and fix myself a bit mentally and emotionally, I chose to do this Stand Up and Shine challenge. I follow Ashley Lemieux on Instagram and love her force for good. She has helped so so many people through The Shine Project (an organization she created that I love) and she also has been going through a major loss right now that no one would ever want to experience, the loss of her two children. That hits home hard for me. I'm not the girl that naturally wanted to be a mom and being a mom didn't and still doesn't come natural, but I would never ever in my life wish it away. It's too precious.Anyways, she is suffering but trying hard to push through and still be strong and still be productive and still shine and still find joy in life regardless of her pains. I want to do that too. The Day 1 challenge is "yes, you can!" or "yes, I can!" Everyone has their things that they feel like they can't do. And currently for me, I am having a hard time feeling like I have enough energy to think I can do anything. Literally. But I want to make this more emotional and mental for myself. So, I have been having a hard time feeling like I have enough energy to feel or act happy. I've been having a hard time feeling like I have enough energy to put POSITIVE energy back into my kids. I've been having a hard time feeling like I have enough mental energy to just be hopeful or optimistic about the future. When you are so shot physically, it  takes your mental and emotional state right along with it. But, I CAN BE HOPEFUL and I CAN be optimistic about the future. It's my choice. What my brain doesn't want to let me realize is how draining  it is to be down and not hopeful and pessimistic. I don't know if it drains me more quickly than if I were to be hopeful, because I've never tried it before. So here is to testing.So, this is my "i can" statement.

Yes. I can be a hopeful optimistic person.
Yes, I can make it through hard things, even if I don't want to go through them.

* This post is completely personal, meaning personal to my life. I don't think having one or five kids is better. I just have always wanted more, and was having a hard time committing to it because I was feeling content, as stated. What I DO think, is that having one kid is better than having none. Kids are the best!

Birth Story: Dahlia Summer Klein

The whole two weeks before her due date, I was so anxious and nervous I was going to go into labor in the middle of the night that I couldn't sleep good and I had to go to the bathroom ALL  of the time. I said that kind of wrong. It wasn't that I cared really when I went into labor (though, I did prefer daytime over nighttime), I just was not wanting to go through labor! Ha ha. She came about a week early, I think. I am not one of those people that remember the time they were born and I do okay remembering their weight (because two of them weighed the exact same) and I have no idea how long any of them were (except for maybe a round about idea for my oldest). So, yeah, she came about a week early, I think.
I woke up about 1 in the morning to a contraction, and my first thought was, "O my goshhhhh, I so don't want to do this. That felt awful." I think every woman tries to remember how a contraction feels, just so you can prepare yourself for a next kid of you're going to have one. But, each time you go into labor, you quickly remember how much you actually didn't remember what it really felt like.

I'll say this upfront. My labor was like a few minutes shy of three hours. LUCKY ME. I know, I know. I am lucky. My last baby came out in just short of four hours. My first baby was about thirteen hours (thank you, epidural). I blogged about those two deliveries in the same entry (delivery with an epidural in the hospital v. without one with a midwife in a birthing center), and if you want to, you can read about them here. Back to the story, so yes, my deliveries are short. But, they are also intense. I open up pretty quickly.

We had set up for the girlies to go to my brother-in-laws house, and so we got the girls bags of things loaded up and got them out of bed and headed to my brother-in-laws. We were in the car about 15 minutes after my first contraction. We wanted to get to the birthing suite as fast as we could because my last labor had been so short AND I had delivered the baby posterior, which generally slows down the labor and delivery. So, my midwife had warned me that this one might go much faster. I did NOT want to deliver on the side of the road.... :D
 After we dropped off the girls, it was about 2 in the morning. So we got to the birth suite at about 2 :15 or around there, because it is not far from my in-laws home. I was still doing pretty good and handling the softer contractions, but it wasn't long until they started becoming transition contractions. I decided to get in the tub (I had been laying on the bed), and that slowed and relaxed my contractions a lot, which once I realized I was finally getting a break, I wondered whether or not I should tell anyone, fearing that they might tell me to get out and do some squats or something to get things moving again, haha! But, by the time I had actually realized that my contractions had calmed, they already started coming back strong. My midwife helped me focus my mind on what I should be doing with my body during each contraction. Opening up and curving my body around my belly (which helps your pelvic bone be in the right position). The contractions were creating so much pressure that I thought I had to go....you know...number 2! So, I moved to the toilet, and nothing. The contractions were still extremely hard at this point. Oh and just FYI, this whole entire time I was whining to my midwife, "Tell me why I decided to do this again!? Why didn't I just go to the hospital? This is so not fun." etc etc. I'm not a quiet sufferer at all.
With each contraction I could feel myself opening up and the baby bearing down. We moved to the bedroom where I laid on my back (I deliver so fast while laying on my back!) and then the contraction were so hard I was having a hard time relaxing. Each time I would contract, I would try to think about opening up and relaxing my body, and for the most part I did, but my breathing was completely off and my arms started tingling and going numb and I started getting dizzy. I kept telling my midwife, "I think I'm about to pass out." She just kept telling me to calm my breathing and that it was fine if I passed out for a little---I wouldn't feel pain! Haha. I told her it wasn't worth the break if I was going to just wake back up to it. Luckily, I was able to get it enough under control that I didn't pass out. For the next part, I don't really know what happened. I don't know if I was seriously so tired and delirious and in the zone that my contractions just really calmed, but the next contraction came and it was like I was in another realm only just feeling a little bit of the contraction and totally not caring---I started falling asleep. My midwife asked me if I was just really relaxed or if my contractions were calming,  and I told her I didn't know. Then BAM. Pushing. My whole body contracts when I am pushing that baby out, there is not even a CHANCE for a break. It's push push push, no rest between contractions. I had completely forgotten about my water, which had apparently never broken. So there my husband is getting ready to catch the baby, and him and my midwife are like "Hey! There is the head and the water!"
Pop. It burst and Dahlia's lovely little head popped out all at once, and in my husband's face :) the water missed him though ha ha. Within the next push her whole chubby little body was out :) She was 7lbs 9oz, our biggest baby yet! I couldn't believe that. My first two were so tiny, so I was pretty surprised I didn't tear. After that I got to feed and cuddle my baby the WHOLE time, and sleep with her. My midwife made us breakfast and we did a bit of paper work (filling stuff out for the state) just before heading home. And, I showered :)

I can honestly say that I strongly strongly dislike labor and delivery, but I sure do love the outcome. Our third little girl is an angel. My first two were so hard in such different ways, and the third has been so so easy and enjoyable. Now, I can understand when people have an easy baby and say they just want to enjoy them, or they fearlessly get pregnant so soon afterwards only to have a baby with such an opposite personality ;) Ha! I'm just glad my hardest was first and it has gotten easier from there.

Whew, if you made it through that whole past, you will now be rewarded with sleeping baby pics :D my favoooriiteeee!!!

well....except for this one. Right after the delivery.

One day, she wore a headband.

She opened up those beauties every once in a while!

Q&A With A Midwife: Exclusive Interview!

Here is the interview I did with my midwife that I promised! Sorry, it kind of took longer than planned because I've been so busy! There is going to be a Part 2 hopefully soon that will be my experience with midwives and my last delivery, and my thoughts on her responses. Thanks Liz, for doing this! 

My amazing midwife Liz(to the right) and her amazing assistant(left)! Birth of our Dahli Mama.Picture taken four hours after the delivery.

Utter happiness doesn't get rid of the exhaustion afterwards.


Sleepin' with my lovey. Both work hard.


Our beautiful flower girl.

Elizabeth Smith is a Certified Professional Midwife as well as a State Licensed Midwife and has

been practicing for thirty years. She began her apprenticeship in 1985. She has delivered 1,432

babies.

Information that is good to know (not a part of the interview):

What different types of midwives are out there​? There are CNM’s (Certified Nurse

Midwives), Certified Professional Midwives, State Licensed Midwives and Direct Entry

Midwives (Lay Midwives).

What is the difference between them?​Certified Nurse Midwives (CNM) are registered nurses

in midwifery. Because of that reason, they are most commonly found practicing under a doctor

in a practice. A Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) is an independent midwife that has

received their certification from NARM (North American Registry of Midwives). A state

licensed midwife is a midwife that has a license to practice midwifery within a specific state. A

Direct Entry Midwife (aka lay midwife, traditional midwife) is a midwife who learned the

practice most likely through self­-study and apprenticeship. CNM’s, CPM’s and State Licensed

Midwives all have to take tests to receive the title. There are no requirements for Lay/Direct

Entry midwives.

Both Certified Nurse Midwives and Certified Professional Midwives are able to administer

medications under certain circumstances (i.e. I.V’s, pitocin in the case of hemorrhaging,

numbing medicine for stitches).

Interview:

How do you think midwives compare to OB’s?
​It really depends on the midwife and it

depends on the OB. But, the main difference is that an OB is taught about abnormal birth. They

are skilled in dealing with complications and a lot of the times they interfere in the natural birth

process.

How many transfers have you had?
​I don’t have the exact answer for that. I probably transfer

about 4­-5%. I’ve dealt with just about every complication imaginable in childbirth. If you ask

me, “have you dealt with this?”, the answer is probably yes. But, I have never lost a mom or

baby during home birth or with transport.

Do you think that your perception of what is an emergency differs than that of a doctor? If

so, why? 
​Let’s rephrase the question. Is my perception of high risk different than a doctor’s?

Yes, definitely. Is my definition of an emergency different? No, not a whole lot. Sometimes I

think doctors are more nonchalant about an emergency than I am. If a heart beat is dropping

during contractions, I think I react more than they do. We do differ but I don’t exactly know how

to explain it because sometimes I think they overreact and sometimes I think they under react. It

depends upon the doctor.

Would you recommend delivering with one type of a midwife over another?
​I don’t because I’ve seen good and poor in each category. My own midwife is not licensed but I wouldn’t want anyone else. I don’t think that the license or certification means that you have the “gift.”

Do midwives ever double as doulas?​
Yes, I provide doula services sometimes.

Is getting an epidural actually bad for you or the baby? Why would you recommend

against it?
Danger of epidurals?​Google it. There are physical dangers and psychological

dangers. An epidural is mostly safe but there are risks they don’t tell you ranging from

headaches to death. It lowers the oxygen to the baby by lowering your blood pressure. Because

of this the baby is more likely to go into distress with an epidural. Epidurals make logical sense

to most people. Why feel pain if you don’t have to? BUT, there is a lot you give up when you

get an epidural; and I’m not talking about money. Rather than be an active participator in the

birth of your baby, you are a spectator of it. That baby is going through the birth by himself, not

with mother. It affects imprinting and bonding, because it interferes with the flow of oxytocin.

You will still “Love” your baby, that comes natural, but you will not “Know” your baby like you

would if you had left natural imprinting alone. You’re also giving up that euphoria, the most

wonderful, beautiful feeling a mother feels after delivering drug free that comes as a result of

endorphin releases during natural labor. Labor is very bearable, and shouldn’t be feared, and the

more pain you go through, the greater the euphoria when it’s over. It is the most painful and

hard, yet beautiful and wonderful experiencing a woman will ever experience in life. When you

give up that brief period of pain (only the final moments of dilation seem unbearable), you give

up the fullness of joy that awaits you, as well as complete imprinting and bonding. Sometimes I

compare it to running a marathon even though it’s very different. Why would somebody run 26

miles if they didn’t have to? What’s in it for them? A medal? Bragging rights? From what I

have been told, having a baby naturally is easier than running a marathon. So why do you get

patted on the back when you run a marathon but get told you’re crazy when you deliver drug

free? With the right support, having a baby naturally can be a very, very beautiful experience. If

you’re just allowed to scream and then have nurses tell you, “We have epidurals for that,” it can

be a horrible experience.

Do you deliver twins? Triplets?
​Definitely not triplets. I used to deliver twins, I have delivered

at least 14 sets of twins but State regulation in Utah doesn’t allow Licensed Midwives to deliver

twins. I had to trade twins for the privileges received with licensing. Otherwise I’d love to

deliver twins, but only after careful and prayerful consideration.

In what ways does natural delivery with a midwife benefit the baby and mother more than

delivering with a doctor in a hospital?​
There are multiple benefits. There are some doctors that

are very natural minded and some that aren’t. The main way it differs is the time you will get

from the midwife as opposed to a doctor. The midwife knows you personally because she has

spent a lot of time with you during your pregnancy. You will receive customized care that is

personal for your needs and your wants. That is a huge factor when it comes to safety. Doctors

put everyone in the same category and follow protocols assuming the worst until proven

otherwise. A midwife can eliminate the worse, until proven otherwise, because I know my

clients, I have better intuition in helping and caring for them during labor and postpartum. You

also don’t have to wait in doctor’s offices for hours just to see the doc for three minutes. All your

questions are answered. Sometimes during the prenatal period that time spent one on one can be

crucial. For example, sometimes I don’t catch a serious problem until the end of the appointment because it

has taken the woman that long to feel comfortable enough to ask me that embarrassing question.

With a doctor, she just wouldn’t have mentioned it. Everyone gets at least half an hour at each

appointment, but appointments can take up to an hour if needed.I listen to the mom and I take every complaint seriously and investigate it until I have ruled

out anything serious as a possibility. In reality, doctors can’t compete

with midwives on the quality of care. They just don’t have the time because it’s impossible to spend that much time with you and be that available for you. When

you go into labor the midwife is there with you throughout the duration of the labor. Not coming

in at the last minute to catch it. You’re paying for the obstetrician but the nurse is the one that

delivers you. If you get a rooky nurse who doesn’t know what she’s doing, it can be dangerous.

At least with your midwife, you should know what you should be getting.

(Liz) I listen to the mom and I take every complaint seriously and investigate it until I have ruled

out anything serious as a possibility.

What do you think about babies lost during home birth?
​It’s sad because home birth can be done so safely. When I was training, back in the 80’s, you never heard of bad home birth

experiences because midwives were skilled, careful and prayerful. In my opinion, losing one

baby is too many. There is no excuse. If done properly, mortality and morbidity in home birth

should be very very rare. Safety needs to be the number one priority, not the quality of the

experience. The quality of the experience is a close second to safety but not number one, because

if the safety goes down the train, the quality of the experience goes down the drain. To get a

quality experience, sometimes people ignore safety. Why take a chance with a baby’s life? I’d

just never do it. I couldn’t do it. Once that birth becomes more risky at home than it would be in


the hospital, then it’s time to take her there.

Social Media Questions:

Have you found your career peers declining? Are they being pushed out by insurance? (or

who?)

No they are increasing. I think that one of the reasons is that there is a higher demand for them

and another reason is it is easier to become a midwife now. But, not all of them are adequately

trained, in my opinion, because many are not learning the hands on skills and they are not getting

the birth experience they need prior to setting out on their own. There are more private midwife

schools now, and some of them encourage apprenticeship after the students leave the classroom,

but they aren’t all getting that essential part of the training. It is a hands-on profession yet fewer

and fewer midwives know HOW to complement the birthing experience so they just stay out of it

and say that is the best way to do it. The result is longer labors, with resultant increased

cases of maternal exhaustion, hospital transports, postpartum depression, etc. Let’s take vaginal

exams, for example:. It took me at least 50 exams to begin to figure out what I was feeling up

there and several years to becoming refined at reading cervixes. Pregnant women’s vaginas are

just a bunch of mush to a novice. Many midwives, who don’t have that refined skill, will say

that vaginal exams are bad, but I have had cases where a vaginal exam was life-­saving and MANY

cases where vaginal exams gave us knowledge that enabled us to prevent or correct problems in

labor. The girls coming out of those schools know birth by the book very well, and how to take a

test, but they don’t know the hands-­on aspect of it as well as those who completed lengthy

apprenticeships. Having those hands on skills and knowing how and when to get involved is

even more important than the book knowledge, but having both, is best of course. Remember

that a “hands on” midwife can be “hands off” when necessary, but a “hands off” midwife, cannot

be “hands on” because she doesn’t know how. “Hands on” is learned by doing.

What do you recommend for women that want to support this career or are interested in

this career?
​I actually have an eleven page booklet I wrote to answer that question. I am

accustomed to getting many phone calls from women saying they want to be midwives. I’ve

learned that that phone call takes about two hours of my time, so instead, I wrote a booklet on

becoming a midwife and the different aspects of it all that I will email to them. In this booklet, I

initially try to talk them out of it by being truthful as to the drawbacks of the profession, so that

they don’t waste their time and money pursuing midwifery, only to realize that it’s not for them.

I have trained so many apprentices and only one is currently practicing. Most women don’t

survive the first 50 births before they are done with this crazy life­style. It takes a long time and

lots of work to become a midwife. You need to study and train until you can say that someone is

as safe or safer with you as with any other midwife or practitioner in your area. It’s not

something you just learn like CPR or a doula, this is something where you need to be an expert

in your field, which should take you years. You need all of the book knowledge, and also

experience before you go out on your own. You need to be equivalent in education in natural

birth and the early detection of problems as the obstetrician is in their knowledge of

complications. You need to be a “doctor” of natural birth. It took me eight years ­­­between

college self study and apprenticeship. It was an intense eight years. That’s how long it took me to

be able to say that people are safe with me, now. It’s not something to be taken lightly. And this

whole “trust birth” campaign is a bunch of baloney. Don’t trust birth, trust God. And “respect”

birth. In reality, birth is basically safe and most of the time babies will come out just fine, but

you need to be able to watch for signs of complications that can happen for reasons beyond our

controll­­­ and they do happen. For someone to say they don’t, they are living in a cloud. A good

midwife can handle those complications and risks sometimes better than a doctor can, but she

needs to know when it is beyond of her level of skill. That is what makes home birth safer than

hospital birth: If you have a good midwife who knows her limits, you are eliminating the risks of

the hospital but you are also eliminating most of the risks of home birth. Those risks are also

greatly minimized when there is a hospital nearby (within 20 minutes) and you have a midwife

who is willing to use that hospital. Any midwife that says bad things don’t happen, is a midwife

that hasn’t been practicing long enough and she shouldn’t be calling herself a midwife. I’m

worried about the way the “trust birth” movement is going and that it may eventually cause the

illegalization of all midwives.


Are there insurance companies that are more midwife friendly than others? If so, which or

how do we find out which?​
Yes there are. Clients need to ask to find out before they purchase

insurance. I can tell you some insurances that have covered me in the past and recently, but what

I find with insurance is that everyone has different plans. You might have Blue Cross Blue

Shield, however you have a different plan than somebody else so you have different coverage.

Ask the insurance company what type of midwife they cover and for how much.

How do I find a good midwife?
​Interview them. Talk to people randomly who have used

different midwives. Experience and her safety protocol should be what you look for first. She

needs to have at least a 3%­6% transport rate. If it is less than that, she’s taking too many risks,

and if it’s higher than that she might be too nervous and transporting too often. Another thing

that I would look for in a midwife personally is whether or not she prays. Obstetrics is a blind

profession even with the use of ultrasound. There are too many unseen factors and I don’t see

how anyone can do it properly without the help of the Lord. That is a scientific fact. There is a

spiritual side to bringing babies into the world; and anyone who denies that side or is unfamiliar

with it, is at a very big disadvantage. You can’t ignore the physical side either. We live in a

physical world where blood runs through our veins, and if we lose too much of it, we die. A

midwife who respects and acknowledges both the spiritual and physicals are the ones that can

deliver hundreds and hundreds of babies throughout their careers and never lose one. IMO, A

midwife needs to at least have 100 births under her belt that she actively participated in,

including the prenatal care of, to have the minimum of adequate experience.

How do they handle high risk pregnancies or complications with the pregnancy? When we

decide to have more kids I would like to have a midwife but I'm hesitant because of my

pregnancy history.

Usually people like her are the ones who most need midwives because a good midwife can take

many high risk situations and help them to become low risk with proper preventative care during

the pregnancy. I’ve had several women come to me who were labeled high risk and a lot of times

they were ​high risk but by the time they had the baby they were low risk because of healthy

eating and/or supplementation. I have a lot of women come to me because they are high risk and

they need that extra care that only a midwife has time to give them. Good examples of high risk

that can be treated are: history of high blood pressure, preeclampsia, premature delivery,

previous C­-section. In some situations a high risk woman will benefit by seeing a high risk

specialist OB and a midwife simultaneously.

What resources can I go to, to share with my medically and scientifically minded husband

to educate him about the safety of birth outside of the "normal" hospital setting?

Libraries and internet have much information and statistics that can be found on home birth. I

invite women to bring their skeptical husbands and have a personal consultation with me where

he can just shoot out whatever concerns or criticisms he has. Most of the time their skepticism

stems from lack of information. It’s also because they care and they feel protective. They don’t

like to shoulder the responsibility of the outcome, something possibly going wrong and failing as

an adequate protector. Most of the time it just takes a consultation with the midwife and some

reassurance that she’s not going to allow your wife to bleed to death. If he can feel comfortable

in her abilities to care for his family, that is usually all it takes, because home birth is favorable

to dads as well. We fear what we don’t understand. I provide free classes each month that are

specifically geared to provide that needed information to these couples. My own husband was

that way originally. Back then, I went to the library and researched the pros and cons of home

birth. I just read things to my husband, because he wouldn’t do it. He eventually became okay

with it over a course of time, but when our baby was born, he became totally converted!

RIP Pink Eye(aka the pink plague)

Well, it has been about a month and half since our very first sign of the pink plague showed up. Oh, the stress since that point! But, don't be afraid to read on. It ends so so so happy! :)

The first sign of the pink eye showed one night as I was reading to the girls getting them ready to go to bed. I saw a eye goop in the corner of our oldest's eye and thought it was much bigger and a but more yellow than normal. I immediately thought of pink eye, but thought "eh, maybe it will just go away", because I didn't know what to do. It was going full force by day three. She didn't sleep good for two or three nights and we would have to wake up a few times a night to clean out her eyes. This whole time I had been cleaning her eyes with breast milk I would pump onto some soft toilet paper.It took about a week to get it to go away, and I was so relieved when it did because we were supposed to be going up north.

We went up north, and our second night at my sister's house my husband and I both woke up sick with a cold and nasty sore throats. Baby girl also woke up with an eye gooped shut. The goop was white normal colored, which was different than our oldest's. We decided to go home that day.
Baby girls' eye kept being goopy but wasn't too too bad. I was also cleaning her eyes with breast milk. Then it spread to the middle girly. So, I was then cleaning baby girl's and middle girly's eyes out with a drop of breast milk from a medicine syringe at least three times a day. I would have them close their eyes, and drop a drop of it by their tear duct, so when they opened their eyes it would seep in and they could blink it in. I was also wiping their eyes down throughout the day and night. Finally about a week in, middle girly's eyes had gotten so so bad and baby girl's goop started turning yellow. Middle girly's eyes were literally gooping 24/7 and she had a constant thick layer of slime underneath them. Poor little girl! I was so so so sad for her and also stressed out. Finally, I decided I was going to go to the doctor for the meds.

The doctor confirmed a bacterial infection and gave me an antibiotic gel. It will be gone within 5 days, he said. Well, the medicine definitely helped clear the eyes, but day 5 came and went and I was still putting the meds in both baby girl's and middle girl's eyes because the goop was still there a little bit, but would start getting worse if I didn't give it to them. Luckily, they had a check up that next week.

The doctor said to stop putting the antibiotics in their eyes because maybe it was the chemicals from the gel that was actually irritating their eyes and not letting them fully heal (?). Okay, no more meds. Their eyes were gooping up more again and pretty badly. I was cleaning their eyes off multiple times a day again, and they would wake up with their eyes tightly stuck together.

I AM STRESSING OUT BAD AT THIS POINT. I am thinking I might jump off a cliff soon if anyone else wakes up with goopy eyes or if theirs don't go away. Are they going to go blind? Are they going to have pink eye for life? ARE THEY GOING TO DIE!? You might think that is exaggerated. But, these were all very real thoughts to me---this is called anxiety---blowing things up to crazy proportions!

I was desperate and I didn't want to start using the medicine again because My Man was telling me that the meds probably had killed all the good bacteria in their eyes and now they couldn't heal right (OH FREAKIN' GREAT.)

I started looking online and in an oil book that we have. I had looked their right when my oldest had gotten it, but it said lavender or tea tree oil and I didn't know how to do that. Drip the oil in the eye? Wipe it with it? Those are such strong oils and it would damage their eye and HURT. So, I didn't use it. After looking online, people said they would dilute it or just put the plain oil on their eyebrow and on the bone right below their eye or on their cheek bone. Everyone said the lavender worked miracles. Lavender it was.

I diluted it in coconut oil (coconut oil is amazing for cleaning the goop of their eyes in the morning ;)) and would clean their eyes with that mixture throughout the day. It kept the eyes semi-clean, but pink eye still there!

I started putting a very small streak of the plain lavender oil right along the cheek bone underneath their eyes when they went to bed. It cleared up the little babes eyes, but middle girly's pink eye was STILL THERE.

Now, I am just like, "Pink eye? What? We got it down. We'll live with it forever AND WE'LL BE HAPPY WHETHER YOUR FRIENDS WITH US OR NOT! (because no one wants to come near any of you when you have pink eye)

Then, inspiration, the Spirit, I don't even know folks...here's the story.
middle girly got a virus that made her break out in crazy amounts of hives. It was a side effect from the virus. Well, even after the virus left, the hives stayed. Completely randomly, she would break out in hives. Big patches of big hives. She would get them completely randomly or when pressure was put on her skin (ie holding her wrists to swing her in the air, her taking a nap and sleeping on her hand). It took months and months, but she has been hive free for a little while now. I started wondering if maybe this was the same case. She had started with the bacterial infection, but her allergies took over and started allergy pink eye, even after the bacteria was gone. So, I tried allergy medicine. She woke up in the morning----CLEAR EYES. I didn't give her more medicine. Next morning---goopy eyes. Gave her the allergy medicine---clear eyes. Gave her more before bed---clear eyes. She went two days with clear eyes, and then a huge storm and wind and allergens came and her eyes started to goop a little---gave her allergy medicine---clear eyes. maybe she'll go three days without it this time. She has been pretty clear now. Moral of the story:
PINK EYE CAN EAT IT AND WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!! One more childhood weird illness thing to go, only probably fifty more.

I hope this post was helpful to anyone else who's children might get pink eye. I honestly feel like had it not been an allergy case also, the lavender would have cleared everyone's eyes up just fine.

Midwife Questions

I am going to be doing a post on midwives and midwifery! If you are interested in delivering safely and naturally with a midwife but have had questions or concerns, comment below with the questions! You can also email them to oneforthefamblog@gmail.com. I will ask them to a real midwife (the one who delivered my last two :) ) and get back to you in the post. In the meantime you can check out my post that compares natural delivery in a birthing center to an epidural delivery in a hospital, right here.

Guest Entry! The Joys of Pregnancy

If you haven't read my post The Perfectly Picturesque Pregnancy, do it. I believe in balance in all things. And who better to balance my entry on the untold horrors of pregnancy than my older sister? She is pretty experienced in the whole baby making area. This month after the birth of her baby girl, she will have had four babies in four years. And as far as I know, there is no plan on slowing down. It is pretty lengthy but actually a fast read. I didn't want to take anything out of it, so here it is for all you ladies who need a different attitude towards your pregnancy woes. I know I do!

Why I Love Being Pregnant

I realize that most women don’t enjoy being pregnant because of the many symptoms that come along with it. However, having been pregnant for 35 months out of the last 49 months, and always trying to find the best of any situation, I have come to discover a few reasons why I actually enjoy being pregnant.

Enhanced Sensitivity- I have found that when I am pregnant, I am more sensitive to everything. I am more sensitive to violence, anger, contention, and vulgarity. Movies that I use to be fine watching that had certain acts of violence, really bother me when I am pregnant. I can’t handle watching movies that even have smaller amounts of fighting and violence. I really don’t like being in situations where people are angry or there is a feeling of contention. Bad words, dirty jokes, and other vulgar acts tend to bother me more when I am pregnant than when I am not pregnant. On the one hand, you might just say being pregnant has turned me into a sissy. But, as I have thought a lot about these things, I realize that it is not our nature to be comfortable with violence, anger, and vulgarity. In this fallen world, these things, weather we choose to expose ourselves to them through entertainment or we are exposed merely by our circumstances of life., surround us and we have grown comfortable with them. It is not natural, or godly, to watch someone hitting and hurting someone else without feeling sorrow, sadness, or empathy for the person being hurt. Small children respond with concern in such situations, even if it is “just a movie”, whereas most adults have learned to not feel sadness and empathy. Violence in movies, though simulated simply reminds me of all the real violence that happens in the world.

I believe that a major purpose of this life is to become more Christlike. Christ is a man who would never take lightly another person’s pain. Christ loves each of us, and never likes to see us suffer. How can we take pleasure, or at least claim mere indifference, when we see the suffering of another person? Christ suffers with each of us, and has indeed suffered everything that we will ever suffer. When I am pregnant and witness violence, anger, or vulgarity I am reminded of the charity/love that our Savior Jesus Christ has for each of God’s children, and feel a desire to be more like Him. I want to rid the world of these terrible things, and look forward to a world of peace and love among all of God’s children. While we are here in this mortal world, I believe strongly in the old fashioned teaching that women and children should be spared from having to experience and deal with as much of these evils as possible.

Slow to Anger- Mostly talking about the first trimester of pregnancy, I do experience nausea and feel very tired. I don’t usually throw up, and I don’t feel ridiculously nauseated, but I definitely have a nice blanket of mild to moderate nausea that covers every day of my first trimester. Let me first just declare that I do not like feeling sick. I don’t like feeling nauseated. I don’t like feeling exhausted and having no energy. But since I have experienced this during the first trimester of each of my pregnancies, I have observed some positive things that come from it. I feel like I am a more Christlike parent when I don’t feel good. I’m a lot more laid back and tend not to freak out about stuff that doesn’t really matter that much. I am slower to anger. I don’t yell. I tend to try to parent more through “persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness.” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-42) I don’t necessarily act this way because I am purposefully trying to be more Christlike, it is usually because I am too exhausted or lazy to get up and yell at my children. But I feel like experiencing it has helped me to be a more Christlike parent when I do feel good. Because my kids are young, I really don’t want to get into bad parenting habits of yelling, spanking, and physically forcing things upon my kids. I want to be a Christlike teacher and example.

Excuse to sit and do nothing/play with kids- When I don’t feel good, and all I want to do is sit and veg on the floor, I have the excuse that I am pregnant. I don’t feel guilty about playing with my kids instead of cleaning house, because I’m pregnant and so I’m supposed to be “taking it easy” and getting lots of “rest.” I believe I have played with my kids more, given them more attention, read them more books, and just spent more time with them because when I don’t feel good I don’t want to clean house or run errands. I have the type of personality that likes to always be busy and doing something. I get bored easily. Being pregnant/not feeling good has forced me to slow down my life and take the time to enjoy my children.

Never feel alone/ feel baby move- I feel like with each of my pregnancies, I’ve become more sensitive and aware of when my baby’s spirit is with their body. Once my baby’s spirit joins his/her body, I enjoy the feeling that I am never alone. I feel like there is always somebody with me. I also like feeling my baby move inside of me because it reminds me that there is somebody else with me all the time.

Always feel special- People always talk about how pregnant women just have “this glow” about them that makes them a little bit special. I don’t really know how to describe it, but I feel that “glow.” I feel like I am beautiful and special just because I am pregnant—because I am creating a life.

People treat you differently- People tend to smile at you more when you are pregnant. They are kind, and often go out of their way to help you or give you some kind of special privilege. People are often friendlier and feel like they have something to talk to you about even if they don’t know you. (ie. When is your baby due? Are you having a boy or a girl? Congratulations!) It seems that people feel a bit of happiness just in seeing that you are going to have a baby. It’s like seeing someone thoroughly enjoying a delicious, soft Bavarian cream-filled chocolate donut. It makes you happy just to see them enjoying that donut because you know how good it is, even though you are not eating one at the moment.

Always have a very defined purpose in life/life has meaning- Sometimes I get in a rut where I just feel like I’m going through the motions of life so robotically and life has little purpose. It’s usually when I am living quite selfishly and only thinking about myself. I know the answer to getting out of this kind of rut is serving others. When I am pregnant, at the very least I am helping my new baby to grow and develop. It is important for me to take care of myself and eat right because it helps my baby. You can’t just decide to throw your life away because this baby’s life depends on your life. For example, I feel more motivated to wear my seatbelt when I am in the car because I know that if I am in an accident, the best way to protect my baby is to protect myself. There is someone else in the world that really REALLY cares if and how you live because his/her life depends on it. Which leads perfectly into my next point.

Forces you to eat healthy/crave good food- When I am not pregnant my body can handle a lot more junk food without feeling sick. But when I am pregnant, I feel sick if I eat more than one brownie, or cookie, or donut. Sugar just zaps my energy. I don’t really get weird cravings like ice cream and pickles, I usually just crave good solid, healthy food like vegetables and meat. So even though I would like to be able to eat half a pan of brownies sometimes without feeling sick, I like that being pregnant helps me to make better choices about my diet that will affect me and my baby. This somewhat leads to my next point, but in an opposite kind of way.

Eat as much as you want, nobody judges you- Everybody knows that when you’re pregnant (or nursing) you’re “eating for two.” So I feel very comfortable going back for seconds or thirds, and don’t have to worry about anybody judging you for being a little porker because you’re eating too much.

Perfect mom to your baby- Another thing I like about being pregnant is that I get to feel like a perfect mom to at least one of my children. I have come to feel more and more with each of my pregnancies that I really actually do have a baby already even though they are still inside of me. But it is nice because this baby is always fed, never cries, is always safe, always comfortable and close to me, and best of all, I can carry her around with me all the time but still have the freedom to use both of my hands!

In conclusion, I like being pregnant because I feel like it makes me a better person. I know that my personal circumstances and situation make it easier for me to be pregnant than a lot of women experience. I have relatively easy pregnancies. I know that a lot of women have significantly harder pregnancies and I don’t know if I would feel the same way about pregnancy if I experienced it the way that they do. I still experience a number of difficulties—I get leg cramps, nausea, hemorrhoids, lower back pain, aches in my hips and pelvis, having to waddle, extreme tiredness, difficulty sleeping, waking up to pee, having to pee ALL the time even if you just did two minutes ago. I don’t enjoy experiencing any of these things. But there are many difficulties and sicknesses (even some on this list) that people experience even when they’re not pregnant. I figure if I’m going to be experiencing some kind of unpleasant symptom I’d rather do it because I’m pregnant. I’d rather have a headache because I’m pregnant, than just have a headache for no reason. Then at least it gives purpose and meaning to my discomfort. In my never-ending journey to become more Christlike, I feel like pregnancy has given me a little push in the right direction; although I, of course, still have a very long way to continue on my journey. I think a lot of people have the tendency to try to rid their lives of trials and difficulties. They believe that they will be happiest when they have the least amount of troubles, aches, and pains. I believe that we must learn how to find happiness and peace amidst the difficulties we experience. Life is never going to be perfect (in this world). Our purpose is to learn how to make the best of what we are experiencing and use it to help us become more Christlike. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said in his most recent conference address:

“When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.

We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?

Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.”

(April 2014 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Grateful in Any Circumstances)

I don’t claim to be perfect at this, but it is something I am trying to do in my life. I am very grateful for the gift of pregnancy we have been given as women. It is a miracle to me that Heavenly Father has allowed me to join in His work of creating physical bodies for His children so that they can come to Earth.

My angel sister and her family(one baby girl coming this month!)

My first, her second.

                                          

What do you think? How do you feel about pregnancy? 

NATURAL BIRTH W/ MIDWIFE v. EPIDURAL IN HOSPITAL

I hope this post is helpful to someone out there who is debating between a natural birth or a medicated one and who also might feel nervous about delivering with a midwife outside of a hospital. All I am going to do is tell my two birth experiences and you can take from them what you want or need.

First Labor and Birth: Aida Mariana Klein

A few hours after delivery

I wanted to do a natural birth for my first child. Everyone is my family does natural labor and are pros at it, so I thought I would naturally be good at it too. I also try to keep my body healthy and stay in shape which they say makes natural labor much easier and go a lot faster, so NATURALLY I thought I had it in the basket without much work. I signed up to take Hypnobirthing the Mongan Method because it was MUCH cheaper than the popular Hypnobabies classes and teaches much of the same thing.

Hypnosis Birthing Classes

These turned out much differently than I had originally thought they were going to be, and though there were a lot of things I really liked about the classes, I can honestly say they didn't help me at all in being able to deliver naturally. I know that for some people they work really great, but for me they didn't. It's kind of the same thing as when your at a show with a real hypnotist and random people go up on the stage. He goes through a series of things to find out who there is actually prone to hypnosis, the ones who aren't are asked to leave the stage. I think it is the same with women and birth. Some people can go into that deep hypnosis (an extreme state of relaxation and peace) when qued by their parenter or themselves, and some people might have a harder time. Some people feel more pain during labor and some people feel less. The things that I did like about hypnosis birthing classes were all informational lectures. They teach you about your body and about how labor and delivery work and about how it is a natural and perfect process and about how you can control yourself and your emotions and your pain to do it naturally. Today, labor and birth are talked about like you will never survive them without that oh so stealthy yet painful insertion of the plastic epidural tube into your spinal chord. But guess what? You can. Women have been doing it for ages and continue to do so around the world. Most women can give birth naturally without any life or death problems. But, the medical world has brainwashed us into thinking that our bodies either can't do it without problems, or that it is just to plain painful to go through and survive. At the same time, there are many people who are blessed regularly with the modern technologies of the medical world. Some people suffer from health problems that can't allow their bodies to work as they should and sometimes it is the baby that is having the problem. In those cases, a hospital is definitely the place to deliver a baby.Anyways, I was saying that what I loved about the classes is that they teach you the truth: your body was meant for this and you can do it. What I didn't love about the classes is all of the stories about the women who sneeze and their baby comes out (I didn't actually hear that in the classes, but a lot of the stories are like that) and the scripts and CDs given. They are just not my thing, but maybe they might be yours.

Now for the actual labor and birth story. Aida was due the 15^th and was two days late. I went into labor at midnight on the 17^th of May. I had eaten lentil bean soup for dinner (don't do that if your near your due date) and went to bed at about 11:45. Obviously I was NOT preparing to have my baby. After taking the courses I was convinced I would feel light contractions start and they would be ten minutes apart. I'd throw in my CD of birth affirmations that I got from my class and float pain free through my labor and delivery. That didn't happen. I laugh even thinking about the fact that I could have believed that. I felt my first contraction around midnight and woke up to what I like to call pain. It wasn't pressure. I didn't wake up from pressure, it was definitely pain. The next one came on just a few short minutes after. My contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and I was in very bad pain. I would try walking through them but would pretty much just collapse onto the thing nearest to me. The walking didn't help me that much. I stayed home until about two and then we decided to go to the hospital. Contractions were still 2-3 minutes apart (which is exhausting). We got to the hospital and right before going in I puked into the hospital's plants outside the door. Lentil soup straight up my nose. I couldn't get all the lentils out. Yeah......So I was admitted. They put the IV tip into my hand(I forget what it's called but you have to at least have that in your hand if you deliver in Provo, its annoying but still allows you to move around freely. My nurse was really nice at the beginning but it was the end of her shift. I sat there on the bed writhing in pain. She said, “so you took hypno-birthing classes I'm guessing because of the list of things you want and don't want? My sister did that. It worked for her but it didn't work for me.”

“Yeah. I took them” I said still writhing in pain.

“Well it looks like you aren't using the techniques right? I know you don't want anyone to ask you if you want it. But just so you know, you can ask for it whenever you want.”

She was talking about an epidural. It was two hours later that I asked for it. Contractions still 2 minutes apart and they stayed that way the entire labor. I finally got to go to sleep which was amazing. But I definitely couldn't move around anywhere and by that time I had more than one thing that I was plugged up to. My legs were so numb I could not feel ANYTHING from the waist down. When it came time to deliver my husband had to come hold my legs while the nurse sat there silent with us (she had been in a nasty mood the entire time) and right before my baby came out my doctor came in (who is so freakin' awesome....Shelly Savage in Provo. Go to her.) and caught the baby. I got to hold her right after they wiped her off and she pooped and peed all over my arms. I loved it! She immediately started sucking her little fist and cuddled me. Then they took her away for all of her cleaning and shots and tests. Staying in the hospital sucked. Husbands, don't plan on staying with your wives. It's really boring. I really wanted to get the needle tip out of my hand for the I.V. because it was aching. Something had hit it and moved it around my hand. It was aching bad! They told me they would take it out in an hour.....take it out when they switched my rooms....take it out after I take some medicine...etc....I had it in for probably four hours after I had delivered her. Super annoying. One really awesome pro of delivering in the hospital is the nursery. They take your baby away and let you sleep all you want and bring them back whenever you want or when they want to eat. The first couple of nights are always hard with a newborn. At least for me they are. The total labor and delivery was 13 hours and I don't regret getting that epidural at all. I was not prepared at all mentally for what labor and delivery actually was. I decided to get it because I decided I cared more about being happy throughout my laboring process and happy when my baby came instead of exhausted and depressed about everything that I had just gone through. I loved getting the epidural, even though there was still a lot of things I didn't like about that day (nurses, my hand, throwing up, the hospital in general,etc.)

Second Labor and Birth: Cypress Sky Klein

Cypress just born

0 birthdays are the best!

We moved south, so I was in St. George for this baby. I decided to deliver with a Certified Nurse Midwife, Liz Smith, who runs a birth suite with another Certified Nurse Midwife. Liz is awesome. I decided to go with them because they are literally 5 minutes away from the hospital AND as certified nurse midwives they are able to administer drugs that a traditional midwife can't in case of emergency (i.e. petocin in case of hemorrhaging...numbing meds for stitching if you tear badly). The big reason I chose Liz is because I told her I needed a lot of help throughout the laboring process with actively trying to move it along and help me through the pain. This time, I was going to be prepared. With my first baby I thought it was a lot like doing weights or running. You give it all you got and just push through the pain and give it more power. In movies when women are delivering naturally they are always beat red and screaming and same thing for going through labor. That's how I thought of it....push through power through. That does NOT work. Its quite the opposite. It's still very mental like any workout that is pushing you. But, you do the opposite, you are not supposed to exert at all...this is “hypnosis” for me. And it was still painful.

I wasn't due until the 23 of March and luckily I ended up going to St. George earlier than I had planned ( we had moved up North and I had planned on going up a week before my due date). Never think you can know when your baby is going to come.We got into Parowan on Saturday night and I woke up Monday morning a few times through the night thinking I had peed the bed. I changed pants. It happened again. I changed again. Then it happened while I was awake so I decided I definitely wasn't wetting the bed (haha. I was depressed when I thought I kept wetting the bed). I called my midwife and she was at a different delivery. She said to call her when I started feeling mild contractions and head to St. George. At that point I had no pain at all. Half an hour later the contractions started coming. They were 3-5 minutes apart each time and that was SOOOOOOO nice to have a little more time inbetween them. My husband got our little girl and everything loaded and ready into the car...and he heated it up (which is nice cause it sucks being cold and in labor). All the while I just laid on the bed and tried to relax completely and breathe through each contraction. No way I was trying to walk through them like the last time. I still felt the same but I wasn't falling all over everything. After a contraction would end I'd concentrate how there wasn't any pain. Id close my eyes and relax my head, my neck my shoulders, my chest, my arms my fingers, and everything else all the way down to the toes. Then another contraction would come. Same routine over and over, but boy did it help. I wasn't powering through anything, I was pretending that I was flubber melting onto the bed or something. The hour drive to St. George was a bit rough but overall pretty great. When I got to the birth suite the other midwife let us in and helped set me up because Liz was still at the other delivery. The other midwife was great and helped me as much as she could for the short time she was there. I laid on the floor. I laid on the bed. Throughout this my husband would massage my legs and arms (that helps take your mind off of the contractions while going through them). My midwife got there and I got into the bathtub with hot water. That is great. Some people call it a water-dural or aqua-dural. My sister told me when she was going through transition she got in the water and her contractions almost completely subsided. My didn't do that, but the warmth definitely helped me to relax. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. If you hear a story, don't expect it will happen for you. It creates a lot of disappointment which makes it harder. My midwife thought I was going to drown cause I was getting water in my mouth while breathing through contractions. It felt so good in there. My husband would poor warm water over my belly the whole time. One of the things I was most grateful for was that when I would go through a hard contraction, my midwife would tell me what to do to make the best of that contraction....how to make the most progress. She would remind me verbally of what my body was doing and how that pain was good and it meant everything was right and productive. When in the hospital you are left by yourself. No one is there to talk you through it or help you. You end up on the bed writhing in pain just thinking you are going to die. You forget there is a whole purpose to the labor and to the pain. Having someone remind you that your baby is coming and that there is purpose to the pain is TREMENDOUSLY helpful. It gives you a huge mental break. I got out of the tub when I finally dilated to a ten and began to push, first squatting and then laying on my back on the bed. I delivered my baby perfectly posterior. It was amazing and fast and awesome and she bawled and bawled, but she didn't pee and poop on me. My midwife made us blueberry smoothies and egg croissant sandwiches and sat with us and talked with us while we all ate. My husband and her took the baby while I slept for a couple of hours. Bam! We left. Cypress Sky Klein attended her 0 birthday party with about 11 people at a house having a St. Patricks Day celebration. Music blasting, kids dancing around and holding her, and me feeling great, not groggy or drained.

I enjoyed both of my labor and deliveries. I enjoyed my first because I brought Aida into the world and she is one spunky, playful, loving, helpful, intense, dramamama, touchy little girl(does that make sense? She makes it work.) She blew my mind and my world into pieces and helped me realize I needed to shape a new one. And she is patient with me and my process in doing that every single day. She is amazing. I'm thankful for the modern medicine that helped me get through my lack of preparation and utter despair(that's what it was). I enjoyed my second labor because it was awesome! I love Cypress. She is so different than Aida. For starters she is mild. She is sensitive and cuddly and loving and a bit of a scaredy cat. She is smiley and happy.I loved that my labor was only four hours(due to her being posterior. My midwife said if she hadn't had been I would have delivered on the road...blessings in disguise). I loved everything that I went through for her and that I was able to do it. People make it seem impossible and it is completely possible. It is a gift from our Heavenly Father to deliver our babies. Labor and delivery is only the beginning of pains and trials we will experience in raising them and I don't want to numb myself through those experiences either. I think there are certain things in life that have to be experienced. Traveling to Paris or the Bahamas is not one of them. Delivering a child that you created from love and that is being lent to you to teach from your Heavenly Father definitely is one of those things. Harder things bring greater rewards. I have experienced natural labor and loved it and that I did it, but who knows. Maybe on number six I'll do the epidural as my celebration? Haha.

I also want to make it clear. I'm not anti-epidural. Even just the beginning of labor is hard. And even if I had known what labor was going to be like, no way I would want to go through that for 13 hours. I bet I'd still choose an epidural for my first one.That is some tough stuff. Four hours is a completely different story. But, I loved everything about a natural labor, more. I enjoyed it more and I bet you would too.