There it is, staring straight up at me with all of its bloodiness. My heart pounding as it screams at me to touch it.
ANXIETY.
All three girls either whining or crying. Why can't I find those stinkin' latex gloves Karey bought me when I need them!?! Urgency takes me over and I do it, just.because.I.have.to.
I smash my hands into it and let out cries of "oh my goshhhhhh,", "oh my gosh oh my goshhhh" and "oh my goshhhh". Now, my hands are crawling with all the germs that come with death. No stopping it now.
ONE HOUR LATER
Karey sits down with his beautiful little sliders that look YUMM-O. The girls are running around just eating their patties in their hands. I sit on the couch feeling like a BOSS, nodding to myself and fist bumping myself for my awesomeness. I touched the ground beef. It's moments like these that you know you are taking life by the horns.
Side note: I don't touch meat. Karey and I made a deal when we got married and for the most part have stuck to it. I change all the dirty diapers and he cooks all the meat. If I end up needing to cook some meat, I still don't touch. I CAN'T HANDLE THE INTENSITY OF THE SITUATION. The germs crawling on dead flesh get to me---what can I say? I once cooked an entire turkey for a ward Christmas party without touching it once. That's called skills yo. Almost five years later, and motherhood and wifehood (is that even a word? The red line says no, I say yes, and for once in my life I don't have to listen to the lecture of my professors. It's a word, now what you gonna do Nichols?!) have pushed me past another trial of mine. I touched ground beef, and maybe next time it will be chicken. And maybe the next time I'LL prep that creepy shoulder roast. Until then, baby steps.
Isn't it great seeing that in life out of yourself? How becoming a mother and a wife has intensely changed you over the years. Touching the ground beef, that's a small thing---a small change, but it leads to bigger ones. Not to mention the big ones that have already happened. Have you seen changes in yourself? Big? Small? If so, fist bump to you, my friend.
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| See those patties? I made them! |
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| beautiful sliders, yummy kefir water |
